I was diagnosed about 4 or 5 years ago now, at first it was like my whole life was over... no one would want me...all the emotions you go through... anger... depression and so on. I withdrew from life as well...But all these years on those feelings have kinda faded away... it has gotten a bit easier... I'm slowly starting to put myself back out there and meet people. So really its definitely not the end of the world. In fact i feel its kind of a blessing because it weeds out the possibility of meeting crappy people in future... its pretty cool if someone looks past the flaws and wants to get to know YOU as a person.. not for what you have or look like and so on....
Advice to other members:
Don't be afraid to talk to people on here. It really helps knowing your not alone...just take things day by day and it will get easier to live with.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
It's ok when you talk herpes
I've had herpes for nearly 10 years and I've definitely had my fair share of ups and downs. I hate the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have to tell someone new. This site has been so amazing in a lot of ways. I've never had a relationship that started here but I've made a lot of friends and had some amazing experiences. I've found that the more times you have the talk the more comfortable you get and the easier it becomes. In 10 years I've only had 3 people turn me down because of my STD. Never assume that people won't be ok with it.
Advice to other members:
There's no harm in dating outside this site. It's easy to use this as a crutch to avoid the talk, (I've done it). But in my experience so many people appreciate the honesty above everything else and if they want you and have a genuine connection they're appreciation of your honesty will outweigh their fear of the disease.
Advice to other members:
There's no harm in dating outside this site. It's easy to use this as a crutch to avoid the talk, (I've done it). But in my experience so many people appreciate the honesty above everything else and if they want you and have a genuine connection they're appreciation of your honesty will outweigh their fear of the disease.
Everything happens for a reason
It's true that everything happens for a reason. I came onto this herpes site with the expectation of slowly getting back into the herpes dating scene and ended up learning that my issues were not who I was dating that got me into this situation but how I have been dating. Speaking with so many different people on this site gave me the opportunity to not only feel more comfortable about my disease but it more importantly gave me a backbone of information to stand on in order to work ways into my life that allow me to date successfully and love without for the right reasons whether it be a friend or life partner.
Advice to other members:
Use this website not just to find someone to go out with on the weekend but also to educate yourself and encourage/be encouraged!
Advice to other members:
Use this website not just to find someone to go out with on the weekend but also to educate yourself and encourage/be encouraged!
Its really the people who suck
For my 20th birthday I found out I was HSV2 positive. When people find out they say wow that must suck because you’re still young and experiencing. But it doesn’t suck because of my age, it sucks because of the stigma on this skin condition is something the people who do not have it will never let go. It sucks because guys want to get with me will find out I have it and never want to talk to me again. It sucks because people make jokes about it like it’s funny when someone else has it. It sucks because the way I got it was in no way justified. But it doesn’t suck, really.
Finding out I had herpes changed my life. Of course I was depressed the first several months or so, but wouldn’t be? Having herpes made me realize that there is more to relationships, or life, than just having sex with anyone because they want to, not because I wanted to. Do you know how many guys I let take advantage of me because they wanted something and I thought as a woman, it was my duty to please them? Not anymore, since I have herpes. Having herpes made me stop judging people in every way, because would I want them to judge me based on my flaws? Having herpes helped me become a better human being than I use to be. It helped me become a better friend than I used to be. Having herpes doesn’t suck, at all.
Of course I still get upset about it sometimes, not because I have it, but because I trusted a man who is a piss poor excuse for a human being, let alone a man. Of course I get upset when people talk about it. It’s me they’re talking about, me being nasty, me being a slut, me being untouchable; so they think. It’s not their fault they’re uneducated. The health classes in school don’t tell you all the facts, they just tell you the symptoms, and Google Images sucks ass at showing people what herpes looks like.
Advice to other people with herpes:
Of course I get upset when in an argument with someone and it all comes down to me having herpes, but if that’s the only bad thing they can say about me, then I’m obviously doing something right with my life. I could say I am more okay with myself who has herpes than most woman who are without herpes.
Finding out I had herpes changed my life. Of course I was depressed the first several months or so, but wouldn’t be? Having herpes made me realize that there is more to relationships, or life, than just having sex with anyone because they want to, not because I wanted to. Do you know how many guys I let take advantage of me because they wanted something and I thought as a woman, it was my duty to please them? Not anymore, since I have herpes. Having herpes made me stop judging people in every way, because would I want them to judge me based on my flaws? Having herpes helped me become a better human being than I use to be. It helped me become a better friend than I used to be. Having herpes doesn’t suck, at all.
Of course I still get upset about it sometimes, not because I have it, but because I trusted a man who is a piss poor excuse for a human being, let alone a man. Of course I get upset when people talk about it. It’s me they’re talking about, me being nasty, me being a slut, me being untouchable; so they think. It’s not their fault they’re uneducated. The health classes in school don’t tell you all the facts, they just tell you the symptoms, and Google Images sucks ass at showing people what herpes looks like.
Advice to other people with herpes:
Of course I get upset when in an argument with someone and it all comes down to me having herpes, but if that’s the only bad thing they can say about me, then I’m obviously doing something right with my life. I could say I am more okay with myself who has herpes than most woman who are without herpes.
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